The Measure of Manliness

  It is a well documented fact that real men can grow real facial hair.  The only people that dare dispute this scientifically proven nugget of truth are, of course, those who cannot grow real facial hair.

  Here at Rhodi Towers we have real men and we have....well, not so manly men.  Men such as John and myself can grow tremendous facial hair.  Good coverage, density and length that make us natural leaders.  If you saw us in an office environment no doubt your mind would tingle with visions of us on mountains, wrestling bears and catching fish with our bare hands.  People automatically come to us with queries and problems which, due to our majestic growth, we are able to solve rapidly and confidently.  There are then the midlle-ish men.  Still able to make decisions they are the seconds in command as it were.  They may be able to grow some facial hair but it is very focused in area and does not gain much thickness.  Last are those who, if we lived in prehistoric times or, perhaps, Sparta, would have been ostracised and cast out from the group.  No matter how many letters to Santa, creams applied, complaints to mother, or sheer willpower have been utilised their growth is 5mm of hair a year at best and covers approximately 1/10th of their chins.  My mind thinks immediatley of Jan and potentially Paul, however i think Paul has his own territory somewhere between the last 2 categories.  No doubt this will make him feel special and he will go home smiling and give himself an extra warm "well done" hug in the bath.

  While you may scoff at the notion of facial hair determining social rank i refer you to my own experiences.  I have only worked here for around 8 months, yet, a few weeks after starting here i was being approached by many long time employees with computer-based queries and spreadsheet problems.  And that was before my beard days.  Now that my facial growth is firmly established i am daily inundated with requests for favour and assistance.  Some even go so far as to try to bribe me with offerings of crisps and biscuits in an attempt to curry extra favour.

  You may think that John and i would battle for Alpha male status in the sales corner where we reside.  Not the case.  Our respect for each others facial growth is too high and should a volatile situation ever arise a casual beard stroke would be more than enough to calm the situation down.

  Anyway that is enough for now.  My interest from blogging is drawn away by a "closed door" situation currently occuring across the office...