Rhodi vs Disney

  Last night at home i was pondering what my next post about life at Rhodi Towers could be about.  I was drawing blanks.  Had the spark of Rhodi blogging already been reduced to a dull candle-light flicker, soon to be extinguished by a slight draft from a crack in the wall?  I began to descend into despondency and was almost about to reach for a Coldplay CD when all of a sudden i was brought back from the brink when i noticed the Disney shelf on my rather expansive DVD collection.  Now, i love Rhodi life and i love Disney.  What, thought i quietly to myself, if the two were combined in some kind of glorious animated/real life utopia?  My mind began to race with the possibilities and i was almost unable to eat my coconut cookie.  I later realised this was due to being partially sat on the side of my dressing gown, thus hampering limb movement along the right side of my body.

  How to realise this Disney/Rhodi crossover dream though?  Finally my mind settled on a solution.  I would pick members of the Rhodi workforce and replace them in my minds eye with a Disney character that i feel most reflects them.  I will be sticking to the more famous Disney characters so as to avoid questioning glances from those of you who read this (yes i am aware that you may not be able to glance at me from wherever you are sat reading this, technology is not so advanced yet alas).  So here it be, hopefully people aren’t offended and take it in a convivial manner (yes it’s a word and a mighty one at that)!

1  Lennie Reid aka Lumiere from Beauty and The Beast.

Lennie is a ladies man, loves a song, enjoys fine dining and i believe his home is very hospitable.  Lumiere is a mops candle (until he and his lady get turned human again once the spell upon the castle has been broken), he loves to take the lead in a musical number, he puts on a great banquet and he welcomes Belle into the castle despite his orders from The Beast.  Im not sure if Lennie can light up a dark hallway using only his body put im pretty sure his Blackberry has a power light.

2  Tanaka Mutimba aka Sebastian from The Little Mermaid.

In my mind T speaks with a voice just like Sebastian.  Sebastian is the only orange character in the whole film and T is definitely the only black man who is sat directly on my left.  Sebastian is a musical character as is T, and he is ranked very highly in the court of King Neptune, much like T is here at Rhodi Towers.  The only difference i can see is that Sebastian lives under the sea whereas T will not go near water for fear of being swallowed whole by a giant inverse mermaid (an inverse mermaid is a creature with the top half of a fish and the bottom half of a woman-im not sure which i prefer).

3  Paul Phelon (or is it Phelan?  For the sake of continuity let us just call him Phelonkadonk) aka Timon from The Lion King.

For starters they are pretty much proportionately the same.  They both love an accessory (in Timon’s case it is a Warthog named Pumbaa, in Phelonkadonks case it is usually a belt or bag).  Both enjoy a wise crack and have an air of nervousness which surrounds them, much like the quivering smell lines you see rising from cartoon poo’s.  Timon gets excited when he finds out Simba is meant to be king.  Phelonkadonk is similarly obsessed with power, thinking that if he determinedly focuses on his accessories career he will soon be plucked from the huddled masses and placed in a seat of power where he will be able to distribute accessories to all, especially those who don’t want them.

4  Jan Vincent Goddard aka Baloo from The Jungle Book.

Yet another character who likes a song and dance.  Much like Baloo Jan likes to be a leader, taking younger ones who need a role model under his wing.  But, as is the case with Baloo, this is doomed to fail and the young rising stars leave Jan in search of greater things.  Jan is not alone for long however as he seeks solace in his close friend Bagheera (potentially Chi, i haven’t quite decided on this one yet).  Together they skip merrily arm in arm through the jungle as the scene fades and the credits roll.  Baloo shows outstanding integrity to his friends (especially Mowgli), and Jan shows similar in relation to his customers, a most praiseworthy trait!

5  Ceri Cattigan aka Magic Carpet from Aladdin.

In the film Magic Carpet says nothing.  In Rhodi Towers you are lucky if you hear a sentence an hour from Mrs Cattigan.  This is no bad thing (not that we dislike it when Ceri speaks, far from it), rather it means that she is hard at work credit controlling.  Yet, when a comrade is in need magic carpet Ceri swoops in to carry them off to a place i like to call ‘helpland’ which is a magical land where all problems are solved by community suggestion and voting.  Also, Ceri sometimes wears blueish purple which i believe is the exact pantone reference for the colour of Magic Carpet.

6  Lee Atkinson aka Zazu from The Lion King.

Very English.  Zazu acts as the herald of Mufasa (do you hear that name and shudder) and is often required to look after young Simba and Nala.  Lee often serves as the herald of the Directors.  Very rarely in one place for long, Lee is often seen flying about completing tasks, often with a small following of other employees flying behind in his wake.  Has Lee ever been to an Elephant graveyard?  Perhaps not, but im pretty sure he’s been to the zoo and that is close enough for now.

  I feel that that is enough musing for now about Disney/Rhodi crossovers.  Perhaps in the future i shall post again with further developments of this cornucopia of wonderment i can picture in my mind, but for now Baloo needs something despatching, Timon is looking stressed, and Sebastian is missing......